Sunday, October 10, 2010

I am sitting here wishing I had homework or a class to go to, when I have a ton of class prep and choreography to get done for work. Hmm...perhaps if  I view my work, as homework it will be more palatable?
So strange.
I am feeling slightly people deprived, and my husband only left this morning, and I'll see him tonight. Its not like I haven't had any human interaction today either, I had a private lesson this morning. I guess it is specific people deprivation, like my mother, or Allie, or Katie, or my family, or someone I can just meet with for a few hours, and some tea, and some discussion. I have all these things I want to mull over with someone of significance, and the phone just won't do. I am also missing my old scenery, I would like to go walk over to my favorite fountain, and sit on that bench and read like I used to. Or I could just walk around the streets of Chicago and get plenty of people watching in. I know there are places I could drive to here, but I don't really want to drive.
I guess I am feeling restless.
Lets go see if  I can attack that "homework", and the laundry, and the dishes, maybe even a workout. Hopefully that ambition shows up soon.
P.s. I love my husband. Praise Yahweh!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I cannot believe it is October.
 Day of Atonement this year was different for me, my first time not having something to go to or someone to spend it with until the evening. I approached it differently, listened to some teachings, and read alot of the Word. Still, I felt unprepared for it, I discovered my xanga is still up, and this post from 4 years ago really rang true this year.

"Monday, October 02, 2006

Currently Listening
Wild Like Children
By Tilly and the Wall
see related
So today is the Day of Atonement. also known as yom kippur.
Leading up to today, was the 10 days of awe,  traditionally a time of deep inspection of all the areas of your life. I didnt really do that this year.

I have to tell you. Today I was just face down. I will never understand why He is so merciful. How can he see the depths of my heart and love me the same?
What shall we say before You, the one who dwells on high and what shall we declare before You, who resides in the heavens? Do You not know all the things, both the concealed and the revealed? You know the mysteries of the universe and the hidden secrets of every living soul. You examine the heart of man and  prove all our thoughts and aspirations. Nothing  escapes you, neither is anything hidden from your sight.
publicly or privately
knowingly and deceptively
by offensive speech
by oppressing a fellow man
by evil thoughts
by lewd association
by insincere confession
by contempt
willfully or by mistake
by unclean lips
by violence or impulse
by defaming thy name
by foolish talk
Forgive us all sins, O God of forgiveness and cleanse us. Mold our lives and souls in genuine repentance that we may in truth present ourselves as living sacrifices to serve you and do as you command.

I want so much to be genuine."

I think Yahweh is teaching me about preparedness, I pray that I am not slow to learn, that I am moldable.